Creativity Heals My Starving Soul
I’ve had the dream again.
“I am to finish school. I am preparing for all subjects. Suddenly it dawns on me that I haven’t finished one single painting. I have to have at least twelve artworks ready. I have not even thought about painting. I have no plan, no ideas – I am to fail the exam. How can I have forgotten about art? How is it even possible I have neglected this until the very end? I panic. I fear I am too late. I will definitely fail the exam. How can I have been so stupid? What am I to do?”
I dream this dream in varieties whenever I feel off-track. Fortunately this doesn’t happen very often but recently I’ve felt utterly off-track and deeply unhappy. I didn’t know how to cheer myself up nor did I have any inspiration to even try – that’s how bad it was.
Having dreamt the dream again, I felt a spark of joy inside, and I knew exactly what to do. Today I changed my study into a studio by placing a proper drawing table where my meditation area used to be. Before I even had breakfast, I had made my first two drawings.
What a delight to play with colour and form again! I simply cannot understand why a person with a degree in art would give up drawing and painting, ever. But it is what I had done when I had started my full-time job in the corporate world last December, and without understanding why, I had felt more and more unhappy up to a point where I thought I might have to leave Australia.
I now realise that it’s the being-out-of-touch with my creativity that makes me feel sick. So here I am again – paper, pencils, pigments, canvases and brushes all at hand, and the intention to create something every day, in order to heal my starving soul. The road to recovery looks sunny and bright. I feel blessed with my subconscious, my guides and/or my higher self, to be presented with a soul-saving dream.